Attack of the Giant Naked Mole Rat!
by Mahler Avatar
Summary: Join Rufus and Mr.Dr.P in an adventure in the style of a classic sci-fi 'B' movie of the fifties, KP style. My submission to Stormchaser90's Heebie Jeebie Hullabaloo Halloween Story Contest.
1. Chapter 1

_Welcome to the first chapter of my submission to Stormchaser90's Heebie Jeebie Hullabaloo Halloween Story Contest. I hadn't planned on entering initially, but Eddy13 gave me a great idea that I decided to run with after all. So sit back and enjoy this throwback to those classic sci-fi 'B' movies of the_ _fifties_ _, KP style. Standard disclaimers apply. And leave a review, and I promise a reply. But only if you dare…_

* * *

 ** _Attack of the Giant Naked Mole Rat!_**

* * *

 ** _I._**

It was a dark and stormy morning. The predawn sky had cleared just enough to reveal a brilliant full moon, bracketed by an unusual planetary conjunction of Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn. As Dr. James Possible navigated the rain slicked road on his way to the Middleton Space Center, he supposed that Bob Chen was in seventh heaven over the celestial display, and was probably still at the observatory in spite of the inclement weather. Also auspicious was the fact that it was Halloween, although as scientists neither he nor Bob had much patience for the world's fascination with the paranormal holiday, preferring instead the comfort that true science provided.

"Yeah, give me a nice solid rocket any day of the year over mythical ghosts and goblins," he mused. "That's real science, dealing with cold hard facts. Besides, Halloween was hijacked by the candy companies and costume manufacturers for their own greedy gain anyway."

His mind began to wander as he fantasized about what he'd like to do to a few of those companies for promoting the faux holiday, as well as all those superstitious folk who blindly wasted their time and money to make it all possible.

"Too bad I couldn't pack the whole lot of 'em into a missile and send them all on a one-way trip into the nearest black hole," he mused.

Suddenly, a person on a motor scooter appeared out of the mist, forcing him to swerve in order to avoid a collision. But in doing so, his car rather forcefully collided with the curb, James painfully hitting his head on the steering wheel and nearly blacking out.

"Good gosh golly! Where in world did _he_ come from?"

The scooter's driver was deeply concerned and immediately screeched to a halt. The blond teen raced up to the car window and frantically knocked on it.

"Hey, Mister! Are you okay?"

Rubbing his bruised head, James rolled down his window and looked up at the familiar face. "Ronald?"

"MrDrP! Wow, that was a pretty close call. You alright?"

"I think so. Banged my head pretty hard, but I seem to be ok otherwise. Sorry about that, I should know better than to let my mind wander when I'm driving. But how about you?"

"No problemo, MrDrP. But that bump on your head looks pretty bad though. You should get it checked out right away."

Rufus climbed out of Ron's pocket for a closer look, chittering in agreement.

"No, I'm in kind of a hurry. Rocket launch with a limited launch window this morning."

Ron looked dubious. "Welllll, okay, but I wouldn't wait too long, just to play it safe. And let me check out that tire just to make sure your car's still drivable."

As he bent down to look at the tire, he whispered, "Rufus, I think you better go with MrDrP and keep an eye on him. You know these Type A personalities, always pushing themselves too hard and not taking care of themselves."

Rufus quickly agreed. "Just like Kim-Kim!"

Ron smiled back, "You got it, little buddy." Getting back up, he assured James, "Tire looks all right to me. But about that bump: why don't you just take it easy today? You wouldn't want MrsDrP to lose her cool for not getting that looked at."

James winced. "Words to the wise, Ronald?"

"Something like that," he replied, while Rufus snuck into the back seat of the car. As James started to drive away, Ron waved goodbye and thought to himself, _"I'll have Kim check in on him later. He wasn't looking too good there…"_

* * *

 _ **II.**_

"Well, that's it."

James pounded his desk in frustration. Throughout the morning, the weather had failed to let up sufficiently for the planned rocket launch, and now the launch window had come and gone. Even worse, the next window was days away, and there was nothing he could do about it. He rubbed his aching head and reached for his pain medication, silently cursing his earlier inattention behind the wheel. He looked down at Rufus, who had finally made his presence known, now staring back up at him with concern etched on his tiny face.

"Hmm, I suppose I should take Ronald's advice and get this bump checked out, shouldn't I?"

Rufus nodded vigorously and replied, "Uh-huh! Uh-huh!"

"All right, you've convinced me. But I'm really tired at the moment. So first a little snooze, then I'm off to the hospital."

He lied down on the tiny couch in the corner of his office, closed his eyes, and was soon fast asleep.

* * *

 _ **III.**_

After what seemed like hours later, James awoke from his nap to find Rufus peering into his face with a worried look. But he felt fine by now, the pain finally gone and the swelling on his head having disappeared as well. He sat up with a smile and stretched his arms out in relief.

"Well, Rufus. Seems like I'm feeling much better now, so I think I'll skip that trip to the hospital. But with all this unexpected time on my hands, I'll need to find something to keep me busy for the rest of the afternoon."

A grin began to spread across his face as a devilish idea popped into his mind. "Yes, and I believe I have _just_ the right project to tackle. And you can help, too, Rufus. In fact, I don't think I can do it without you."

Rufus perked up instantly, now intensely interested in what James had in mind.

"Follow me..."

With a jaunty spring in his step, he walked down the hall and into the robotics department, Rufus scurrying close behind. Unlocking the door to a highly classified area, James gestured toward his top secret project. Rufus gasped involuntarily at the incredible device. Before them stood a twelve-foot high cybertronic battle suit, painted in a brilliant candy-apple red and polished to mirrorlike brilliance.

"Back when I was a grad student in college, I built a much smaller battle suit for my pet lab rat, Pinky Joe Curly Tail. Armed with a basic plasma blaster, the little scamp laid waste to most of the campus almost before I knew it. Fortunately no one was injured, but I did end up getting high marks that semester for original thinking."

He hooded his eyes as his smile spread into a wolfish grin. "However, I always dreamed about ramping up the basic design with an even more powerful plasma weapon, giving it a nuclear power source, and designing it with electrostatic reactive armor able to deflect any weapon up to the size of a 120mm Abrams tank shell."

His eyes softened as he let out a sentimental sigh. "I had hoped to give this to Kim as a high school graduation present, since I've always been rather protective of my Kimmie Cub, due in no small part to all those dangerous missions she's always going on. But the requisite amount of plutonium to give it sufficient power was naturally hard to come by, and besides, the whole thing was rendered obsolete after Wade created his own battle suit for her, the little genius."

Rufus commiserated, "Ohhh, poor MrDrP… "

"So I was thinking that I might give it to Joss instead when she was old enough, especially since she's familiar with cybertronic devices like Slim's robot horses, but that's still quite a few years away. So at the present time my invention is all dressed up with no place to go… _until now_."

Rufus gave him an inquisitive look. "Huh?"

"How'd you like to take it out for a test spin, just to see how well it operates under, shall we say, real world conditions?"

Rufus jumped up and down as his eyes brightened in anticipation. "Goody!"

"Wonderful! I was thinking earlier today about how much I dislike Halloween, with all its unscientific and frequently evil connotations, so I have some perfect targets picked out for you in the Tri City Area. There's just one caveat: you're not to hurt anyone, but you can cause as much property damage as your little naked mole rat heart desires. Does that sound fun to you?"

" _Uh-huh! Uh-huh!"_ was the mole rat's overjoyed reply.

James rubbed his hands together in evil glee. "Drew Lipsky, eat your heart out! You're not the only one in Middleton who can play at being mad scientist!"

He tried to let out an evil laugh, but it was underwhelming to say the least, and Rufus merely shrugged and wagged his head in dismay.

James sighed. "Hmm. Needs a little work, I take it?"

Rufus sadly agreed. _"Sorree…"_

* * *

 _ **IV.**_

After a short training course in the battle suit's operation, Rufus was finally prepared to begin his mission.

Speaking through the two-way radio, James began, "All right, Rufus. I've preprogrammed each target for you in turn, so all you need to do is fire the blasters once you're in range. But if anything goes wrong, all you need to do is hit the manual override and the suit will revert back to your own personal control. And if all else fails, just hit the fail-safe switch, and the battle suit will immediately power itself down. I'll be in constant radio contact with you, and I have a TV link-up as well so I can directly follow your progress. Good luck."

Through the bulletproof Perspex dome on top of the battle suit, Rufus gave him a cheerful thumbs-up and powered up the massive device. He next attempted to squeeze through the door, but at twelve feet in height, the mechanized behemoth was too large for the doorway. So giving a tiny shrug, he merely activated the plasma blaster and promptly blew a hole in the laboratory wall large enough to exit. Free at last, Rufus set course for his first target of the evening.

* * *

 _ **TBC…**_


	2. Chapter 2

_And now, the conclusion...  
_

* * *

 _ **The Return of the Revenge of the Naked Mole Rat, Part 2: Rampage!  
**_

* * *

 _ **I.**_

Now following Rufus' progress within the new battle suit on his TV monitor, James clicked on his radio transceiver.

"All right, Rufus, you should be approaching your first target: Smarty Mart."

The naked mole rat responded with a tiny chirrup. _"Roger that!"_

Although he had been given a free hand by James in wreaking whatever havoc he desired, he still felt compelled to spare any unnecessary property damage if at all possible. But as he maneuvered his twelve-foot high cybertronic battle suit through the Smarty Mart parking lot, he found himself hard pressed to avoid more than a few parked cars. Leaving a trail of smashed and burning vehicles in his wake, he dutifully apologized with a tiny "Sorree!" as he accidentally crushed each car in turn on his way to the store entrance.

Easily crashing through the glass doors, he marched his way to Aisle 41, Halloween Costumes and Accessories. As the panicked shoppers desperately raced for the exits, screaming for their very lives, Rufus easily incinerated the entire aisle with a blast of bright red plasma. But as most people had already bought their costumes by this time, there weren't all that many left to torch. Nevertheless, James gleefully rubbed his hands together at the carnage he was observing.

"Nicely done, Rufus. Now on to Aisle 32: Halloween Candy!"

With a few well placed shots, the smell of melted chocolate and burning licorice began to fill the store, along with the acrid smoke from the costume aisle. By now, Smarty Mart was emptied of all its customers, and the automatic sprinkler system had come on, extinguishing the flames but leaving behind a charred, gooey mess.

"Excellent work!" James congratulated. "All that sugar is bad for kids anyway, so the dentists of Middleton should be thanking us. Your work here is done, Rufus. Now on to your next target, the Halloween Superstore on the corner of Third and Main!"

Rufus allowed the automatic controls to guide the battle suit to its next assignment, leaving the wrecked Smarty Mart store behind. But no sooner than he had left the parking lot, than a squad car screeched to a halt, blocking his path.

Jumping out of the car, the first policeman grabbed a bullhorn and ordered, "Stop immediately or we will open fire!"

But the police car had stopped too close to the battle suit. As Rufus desperately searched for the manual override switch, the huge cybertronic device simply ignored the officer's warning and stepped right on, then over the police vehicle, crushing it as if it were a child's toy.

"That does it!" yelled the cop. "Open fire, Chauncy!"

Shooting at point blank range, both policemen were easily able to hit the behemoth with each and every shot. But as each bullet pinged against the body of the robot, its reactive armor deflected every round with ease.

"Sarge, look! Our bullets are just bouncing off! Call for backup!"

Rufus sat helplessly as the unstoppable juggernaut blithely continued on its way. For his part, James merely wagged his head at the unfortunate confrontation. "Well, serves them right for parking right in front of a 10 ton robot. At least they were able to get out of the way in time."

Too late, Rufus discovered the manual override switch. Or just in time, as it turned out. For just off to his right stood the local Bueno Nacho, the delicious aromas of its Mexican cuisine wafting through the early evening breeze.

"Mmm, _cheese!_ " declared the hungry rodent. As fate would have it, the popular fast food joint had recently opened its new drive-through service. Hitting the override switch, Rufus took control and swung the battle suit around and behind the cue of waiting cars. While he patiently waited his turn, a furious James Possible yelled, "Rufus! There's no time for food now! Stay on course for your next target!"

But the wily mole rat simply began toggling his microphone rapidly on and off while declaring, "Sorree! _Shhhk!_ You're breaking up…"

Since Rufus had switched to manual override, it was now James who could only sit by helplessly as Rufus placed his meal order. "Two Nacos! With extra _cheeeeese!_ "

Finally reaching the take out window, he hit another button, deploying an automatic arm out of the robot's side, at the end of which held a credit card. Again, James yelled impotently, "Hey! That's for emergencies _only!"_

Rufus giggled mirthfully as Ned swiped the proffered credit card, placing the card and his food order back into the mechanical hand before doing a double take, while Rufus waved his thanks from the perspex dome atop the robot.

As the machine marched off toward its next target, Ned gave a small shrug of his shoulders. "Since I've been the manager here, we've been attacked by clones, dragons, aliens, and even a mutated Ron Stoppable, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised by a huge robot."

 _ **II.**_

Drakken swore under his breath after gouging himself once again with a screwdriver. His sultry green-hued henchwoman immediately stopped filing her claws and chided, "Hey, watch the language Dr. D! We're trying to keep this at K+ if you hadn't noticed."

The blue-skinned supervillain rasped back, "Yes, I _had_ noticed, Shego. But I _am_ evil, if _you_ hadn't noticed. And since this is _my_ lair, I can curse to my heart's desire if I wish, and I'll thank you not to pass judgment on…"

But Drakken cut short his tirade when he noticed that Shego was no longer listening to him. Or rather, something else had caught her attention.

"Hey Doc, get over here. Look what's on the news!"

A news flash had just appeared on the TV, and the reporter urgently began, "This is Tricia Lipowski with breaking news from the Smarty Mart in downtown Middleton, where a giant robot has just left the store in ruins after a sudden and unprovoked attack. Here we have exclusive footage caught by one of the shoppers on her Orange mePhone…"

The scene immediately cut to a shot of the cybertronic battle suit marching out of the store, followed by its initial confrontation with the police.

Drakken nodded with begrudging admiration. "Hmm. Crude, but effective."

"Hey, don't knock it Dr. D. It works, and the police can't seem to stop it." She continued with a smirk, "Which is more than I can say for most of _your_ inventions."

Drakken shot back. "Zip the lip, Shego. I'd just like to know exactly who's behind this."

As he continued to observe the mechanical monster, he noticed that it had a cockpit of some kind, and that someone or something was operating it. He looked closer, suddenly gasping in recognition.

"Shego! Freeze frame and enlarge the head of that thing!"

As she did so, she gasped herself. "Hey, isn't that Stoppable's mole rat thing?"

"Indeed. But Kim's sidekick isn't that gifted to have invented such a thing, and Kim Possible has a much different skill set. But it does look strangely familiar…"

He snapped his fingers as the answer suddenly popped into his mind. "That looks exactly like a scaled up version of a cybertronic device I remember from my college days." His face darkened as he continued, "And I remember exactly who invented it: Dr. James Possible!"

Shego's eyebrows darted up in surprise. "You mean Kimmie's dad? But why?"

"I'm not sure, but I think _someone_ may be muscling in on my territory as a mad scientist."

His expression instantly brightened. "But I do agree with you that his upgrade is better than my average invention. Which is why we're going to steal that thing for ourselves. Prep the air car, Shego, destiny awaits!"

 _Meanwhile, across town…_

The phone rang at the Possible residence and Kim picked up. "Hey, Kim. It's Ron. Say, is your dad home from work yet?"

The teen redhead replied, "No, not yet. Why do you ask?"

"Well, he nearly hit me with his car early this morning in the fog, and he bumped his head pretty bad. I told Rufus to keep an eye on him, but I haven't heard from either of them all day, and I'm getting a little worried."

Suddenly, her Kimmunicator began urgently beeping. "Hold on, Ron.." She switched it on, and the troubled face of Wade appeared. "What's the sitch, Wade?"

"Turn on the news, quick."

As she did so, it only took a few moments for her face to drain of all its color. "Uh, Ron? I don't know where my dad is, but I think I've located Rufus. It looks like he's operating a ferocious looking robot which is currently rampaging through downtown Middleton. Get over here as fast as you can, we've got to get to the bottom of this, and quick!"

 ** _III._**

Rufus had just finished leveling the Halloween Superstore when Kim and Ron arrived at the scene. As the smoke and flames lit up the evening skyline, Ron yelled out, "Rufus! What do you think you're doing? Bad mole rat! _Very_ _bad mole rat!_ "

Suddenly, the battle suit's external speaker popped on, and the voice of James Possible boomed out. "Oh, hi there, Ronald. Actually, don't blame him, I put him up to it. So, what do you think of my solution to remove the evil influence of Halloween from our fair city?"

"Well, although I'm not a big fan of Halloween, what you're doing definitely falls under the mucho wrongsick category. I think you hit your head a little harder this morning than I thought."

James scoffed, "Nonsense! Honestly, I've never felt better."

Kim was aghast. "Dad, what in the world's gotten into you?"

"Kimmie Cub! So glad you're here too! Now that we're all together, we can eliminate this totally bogus and nonsensical holiday once and for all."

"So not, Dad!" she angrily replied. "This... this isn't like you. Please stop this right now so we can get you the medical help you need," she pleaded.

"Sorry, Kim. I'm a scientist, and I now have the means and the will to fix this problem once and for all."

Another voice began to speak from above and directly behind them. "Or not."

Ron turned around just in time to see Shego fire a powerful blast of green plasma from the safety of Drakken's air car.

"Kim, look out! It's…" But Ron's voice was cut off just as the bolt hit them, knocking them both out cold.

"Gotcha!" Shego cried out in triumph.

"Excellent shot, Shego!" cackled Drakken. "For once we got the drop on _them_ instead of the other way around."

"Drew!" James snarled. "What's the meaning of this sneak attack?"

Drakken sarcastically replied, "Just taking care of the two _sidekicks_ so that Shego and I can concentrate on the _real_ villain here."

"Drew, whatever are you talking about?"

"You're impinging on my turf, James, and this town isn't big enough for two supervillains. I couldn't help but notice your absolutely fascinating upgrade of that little grad project from 20 years ago. But although Pinky Joe has long ago gone on to his eternal reward, I see that you've somehow managed to recruit the pet of Kim's sidekick for your nefarious aims."

He continued in a menacing tone. "And _this_ I cannot allow."

James growled back, "You wanna bet?"

Drakken laughed. "I'll make you a deal, Drew. You give me the battle suit, and I'll let dear Kim and her boyfriend live to see another day. I'll even throw in the mole rat as an extra bonus."

"No way, Drew! I'll blast you out of the sky before I ever let you hurt Kim or Rufus!"

Drakken was instantly curious about James' omission of the third member of Team Possible. "Oh, really? And what about… uh, what's his name, er…"

"Ron!" Shego hissed.

"Ah, yes… Ron."

A moment passed. "Well, James?"

Another few moments passed. "I'm thinking."

Exasperated, Drakken growled, "Well, think quicker, because your time is now up. So, this should prove an interesting test of power: Shego's plasma and my air car's weapons against your naked mole rat and his new battle suit."

He turned to Shego. "At your convenience, my dear."

Shego's eyes hooded in glee. "With pleasure, Doc."

Shego fired at once, Drakken immediately joining in. Enormous amounts of green and blue energy bounced off of the battle suit, instantly dissipated by its reactive armor. But James knew that it couldn't withstand this kind of punishment indefinitely, and immediately gave his own order.

"Rufus, return fire! Full intensity!"

Instantly a gigantic burst of red plasma shot out from the battle suit, counteracting the attack by Drakken and Shego. The terrific clash of energies lit up the twilight sky for miles around as each antagonist sought to gain the upper hand. But soon the plutonium powered suit began to wear down the two villains, the red plasma visibly advancing and pushing back against Shego's weakening power.

"Drakken, I can't keep this up! We're losing!"

"Not if I can help it!" he yelled back.

He pushed the lever on his own energy cannon into emergency override, and for a moment, stabilized Rufus' attack. But his air car was redlining dangerously, and Shego was still weakening.

She grunted, "Can't… keep… this… up…"

Still determined to win no matter what the cost, Drakken ordered, "Don't give up now, Shego! Just a few more seconds, and we'll…"

Suddenly, a huge electrical crack was heard as the power coupling in Drakken's air car shorted out.

"Oh, snap…"

Unable to maintain her attack, Shego ceased fire an instant later, her plasma finally fizzling out. With nothing left to resist the battle suit's powerful energy, a tremendous boom was heard as both villains were tossed over a hundred feet, their unconscious forms landing ignominiously into the city fountain next to City Hall, and ironically directly across the street from the police station. Revived by the ice cold water, they were immediately apprehended by several police officers as they stood sputtering and coughing, soaked to the skin.

"Well, _that_ didn't quite work out as expected," complained Drakken.

A moment later, he was once again unconscious as a black gloved hand strongly cuffed him aside his head.

Shego offered an apologetic shrug to the officers. "Sorry. My hand slipped."

Meanwhile, the battle suit had resumed its course toward its next objective, in spite of the fact that Rufus had not switched the controls back to their automatic settings. He gave the circuits a close inspection, crinkling his nose as a few wisps of smoke wafted from behind the control panel, which was a bad sign.

"Huh? Uh-oh..."

Somehow during the terrific battle, the manual control circuits had fused due to the tremendous power coursing through them. He was now back on automatic pilot. Even worse, he discovered that the perspex dome had become deformed from the intense heat, and he was now was trapped inside the battle suit. He gave a tiny whimper, wondering what now lay in store for him.

 _ **IV.**_

Linus van Pelt was once again sitting in his homegrown pumpkin patch awaiting the arrival of the Great Pumpkin. He eagerly observed the setting sun, and soon twilight would give way to darkness, and a long, cold night. But he remained resolute in his belief that tonight might yet be the culmination of his years of patient waiting, and that his lonely vigil would ultimately be rewarded with the apparition of the mythical holiday figure.

"Oh Great Pumpkin, please let this be the night that I'm finally graced with my most heartfelt desire, and see you at last, face to face. For you already know that this is the sincerest pumpkin patch in all of Middleton."

Sally had just appeared with a blanket and a thermos of hot coffee. "Make that the _only_ pumpkin patch in Middleton. When will you finally give this stupid thing up?"

Humiliated but indefatigable, he answered, "Just you wait, Sally. This year, things will be different. I can feel it."

But having heard this old line before, she continued derisively, "Linus, every year it's the same thing, and your silly quest has turned you into a modern day Don Quixote. Besides, I'm sick and tired of handing out tricks or treats to the neighborhood kids all by myself, year after year, and then pulling you back into the house half frozen at four in the morning after yet another one of your futile annual vigils!"

As he watched his wife of thirty years storm back into the house, he bewailed, "There are three things I have learned over the years never to bring up with her: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin."

With a heavy sigh, he took a long quaff of the coffee and pulled his blanket tighter around his body. At least he still had his original childhood blanket, but it was so threadbare by now that he only used it on this very special night.

"Before this night is over, you'll eat your words, Sally. Nothing will ever deter me from giving up on my deepest dream."

Suddenly, he heard a noise in the distance. As the sound of heavy footsteps and broken branches reached his ears, his heart began to race in anticipation.

"What's _this_? What's _this_? Could it be? At long last, the Great Pumpkin has arrived to reward me for my years of faithfulness, rising out of my very own pumpkin patch to bring toys and presents to all the children of the world!"

But his anticipation quickly turned to horror as the frightening apparition finally entered the clearing. Linus' face immediately drained of all its color as he broke out in a cold sweat. For he realized too late that this was indeed not the Great Pumpkin, but rather some kind of mechanical demon from hell, no doubt sent to destroy him.

The moon now reflecting off of its blood red body, the machine raised its plasma weapons and took careful aim. As Rufus desperately tried to regain control of the battle suit before it was too late, Linus passed out onto the ground in a crumpled heap. But his luck had not run out quite yet, for Dr. Possible's original programming was still intact, and the battle suit would only use deadly force to counter a direct threat. So instead, it began firing at its designated secondary targets: to wit, the ripe, juicy Halloween pumpkins within the sincerest pumpkin patch in all of Middleton. As the plasma bolts connected with the orange globes, each one in turn exploded in a bright display of flame, splattering gooey pulp and seeds over the entire lot adjoining Linus' home. Quickly dispatching the last of the evil fruits, the battle suit resumed course for its next target of the evening.

 ** _V._**

"Ooh, what hit us?" Kim groaned as she regained consciousness and turned to help Ron up.

"Shego. She blindsided us, sneaking up from behind while we were distracted by your dad's badical invention."

"But where are they now, and where's Rufus and the battle suit?"

A voice intoned from beside them, "Drakken and Shego are in jail, and the battle suit is on its way to its final destination."

"Dad!" Kim gushed in relief. "Are you okay?"

"I... I think so. As soon as I saw Drakken and Shego attack you, and then Rufus nearly vaporize them in response, something snapped inside me. I rushed over here as quick as I could to make sure that you..." He continued with some difficulty, "and... Ron... were okay. I'm so sorry, Kimmie Cub. I allowed my natural inclination to elevate science and reason far above all else, denigrating a holiday that's basically a harmless excuse to dress up funny and consume enormous amounts of candy, eventually causing tooth decay and diabetic shock. But that's what dentists and insulin are for."

He broke down in tears, sobbing remorsefully. "I've been such a fool, and I almost lost my dearest Kimmie Cub. I'm so sorry..."

Comforting him with a pat on the back, she cooed, "It's all right now, Dad. You've realized your error, no doubt exacerbated by that blow to the head you received this morning."

Ron looked perplexed. "Uh, Kim? School word..."

"Oh, sorry! Uh, aggravate, made worse by, see INCREASE."

Ron winked. "Got it, Kim."

But James still looked distressed. "But don't you see? It's not over yet! That battle suit has one last mission to accomplish: the disruption of the annual charity costume ball for Middleton Hospital, where your mother is acting as the Master of Ceremonies!"

Kim's jaw dropped open. "Uh, does _Mom_ know you've unleashed probably the the most ferocious robot in history on her little soiree?"

He reached around to nervously scratch the back of his neck, not unlike how Ron would react under similar circumstances. "Uh, not sure, I may have mentioned that in passing..."

Ron suggested, "Well, just tell Rufus to call off the attack and shut it down, and we're golden, right?"

"Wrong. I lost contact with the both Rufus and the battle suit right after it defeated Drakken and Shego. If it was somehow damaged during the battle, Rufus may have lost control of it as well, and who knows how its programming may have been affected. It could end up not just disrupting that costume ball, but completely destroying it!"

Kim grimly intoned, "Then we better get our butts over there right away and stop that thing before it's too late."

Ron whispered, "Uh, Kim? Can you say 'butts' with a K+ rating?"

She whispered back, "I think so. It all depends on the context. I looked it up last week."

Turning back to her father, she asked, "All right then. So where is this costume ball being held?"

He quickly answered, "Just about the swankiest place in the city that you can imagine, Kim, with the possible exception of Chez Couteuax: the top floor of the Middleton Hotel."

Ron blanched. "Why, that's 50 stories high! And you know I don't do too well with heights, Kim."

Kim sighed, "Or bugs, or monkeys, et cetera, et cetera. Okay, so I'll handle it from the outside, and you can take the elevator. But let's get moving!"

 _ **VI.**_

It wasn't difficult to tell what path the battle suit had taken to the Middleton Hotel. All they had to do was follow the swath of destruction it had left in its path, and the tattered remnants of what remained of the Army units that had tried to stop it. Passing by a hastily improvised command post, Kim suddenly spotted a familiar face.

"General Sims!" she called out.

"Kim Possible!" he answered. "A sight for sore eyes if I do say so myself."

"So, General, what's the sitch?"

"Well, we tried to stop it, but nothing we used had even the slightest effect. Machine guns, 50 caliber sniper rifles, even a platoon of Abrams tanks, all ineffective. Everything just bounces right off of its thick hide. As a last resort we even tried heavy artillery used in a direct fire mode, but the collateral damage was so high that we were forced to call off the attack."

He turned to Kim's dad and sadly declared, "James, you created the ultimate weapon when you built that thing, and there's nothing we've found that can stop it. If we could lure it far enough away from the city we could try a nuke, but I have my doubts about even that."

James nodded. "Your concerns are well founded, General. Its shielding would probably absorb the energy it could use, and harmlessly shed any excess."

Kim blanched. "Besides, we only want to disable it, General, not destroy it completely. Rufus is still trapped inside it, and we don't want him harmed."

"I know, Kim. But we're rapidly running out of options. If you can't stop it, I honestly don't know where this will all end."

Kim vowed, "I'll stop it, General. You have my solemn promise. I don't know how, but I'll find a way to do it, and without harming Rufus or further damaging Middleton."

He gave her a smart salute. "Then godspeed to you, Kim, and good luck."

Upon reaching the Middleton Hotel, Kim frowned as she looked up, spotting the battle suit climbing up the side of the building, now about halfway to the top. "Well, it has a good head start, but nothing's impossible for a Possible. Ron, take the elevator and warn the costume ball attendees to clear out as a precaution, while I try to stop it from out here."

Ron quickly replied, "No problemo, KP!" as he swiftly entered the hotel.

"And Dad? You'll be my liaison with the police and the Army from the ground floor."

She activated her Kimmunicator. "Wade, any contact with either Rufus or the suit?"

"Negative, Kim. Still nothing on any channel. We're still totally in the dark about what's really happening. But the police should be in place by now."

As if on cue, a dozen searchlights suddenly lit up the battle suit as it continued its ascent.

"All right, here I go..."

Grabbing her hair dryer/grappling gun, she fired, catching a ledge below but near to the battle suit. "25 floors down and 25 to go. I've got to hurry."

Rapidly scaling the side of the hotel, she was gaining on the mechanical beast, when she suddenly saw Rufus, his tiny face pressed against the suit's perspex dome and waving frantically for help.

She called out, "Hang on, Rufus! I'm coming!"

But the battle suit's defensive system detected Kim's voice, and fired a plasma blast at her. It narrowly missed, hitting the ledge two feet away from her and blasting it into rubble.

"Whoa! Note to self, don't yell unless you want to invite an attack."

Quickly pressing herself against the wall, the next ledge above hid her from sight, and the battle suit resumed its inexorable climb to the top.

"Man, how am I going to get near that thing without it trying to blast me?"

Suddenly, a window swung open, and on the inside was...

"Batman? Wait a minute, aren't _you_ supposed to be out _here_ and scaling the wall, and not me?"

The cape and cowled figure shrugged as he replied, "Hey, it's just a costume, I'm not really Batman. But I've got something that might help you."

He handed her a small canister. "It's a smoke bomb. If you set it off close enough to that thing, it might hide you well enough until you can get a lot closer to it."

"Thanks, I'll give it a shot."

Resuming her own climb, she got within 3 floors of the fiendish robot before it fired again. Once again pressing herself against the wall, she pulled the pin on the canister, then swung out to toss it straight up. Her aim was true, and the device poofed into a large cloud directly beside the battle suit. Wasting no time, she quickly scrambled up the wall, finally breaking through the smoke directly beneath the robot.

Unfortunately the battle suit was quicker, and instantly extended its robotic arm to grab her. But it still had something in its tiny claw.

"A credit card? Why is it handing me a credit card?"

Quickly realizing its mistake, it dropped the credit card and forcefully grabbed her by the collar, intending to swing her out and release her beyond the ledge, where she would plummet to her demise, now over 40 floors below. Thinking quickly, she grabbed the robotic arm just as it let her go.

"There! Just try and reach me _now_ ," she smirked.

But the robotic arm began vibrating and oscillating at an incredible rate, as it tried to shake her loose.

"IIIIII...wwaass...jjuusstt..kkiiddiinngg..."

Desperately climbing hand over hand, she finally made it to the suit's body, and then to the perspex dome on top. Just then, she heard a loud roaring sound in the distance. Looking up, she spotted a squadron of A-10 Thunderbolts, the most powerful ground aircraft of the US Air Force. Affectionately nicknamed the Warthog, each aircraft was armed with the massive GAU-8 Avenger cannon, firing 30mm rounds of ultra hard depleted uranium shells at rate of 4200 rounds per minute and a muzzle velocity of 3,500 feet per second.

The squadron commander clicked on his radio. "This is Red Leader. Everyone check in please."

"Red 3 standing by."

"Red 6 standing by."

"Red 5 standing by." _  
_

"Luke, is that you?"

"Yeah. This'll be just like shooting swamp rats back in my home town of St. Augustine."

The squadron commander rolled his eyes. "General, this is Red Leader. We are closing on target. What are your orders?"

General Sims commanded, "You are ordered to destroy that thing, but DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT open fire until Kim Possible is safely under cover."

"Acknowledged..."

James quickly relayed that message to Kim, who instantly paled, realizing that she needed to free Rufus immediately if she was to save his life. For if she or Rufus were anywhere near those cannon strikes when they started hitting, they'd be cashing in all their nachos. Looking back down, she saw Rufus frantically pointing at the damaged area at the rear of the dome. Realizing this might be her only hope of releasing the trapped naked mole rat, she reached for her laser lipstick case.

But after pulling it out, she discovered that it was... just lipstick. Seeing her reflection in the perspex, she quickly touched up her makeup. Next she grabbed her other lipstick case, the one with the laser. Activating it, she focused the beam on the damaged area of perspex, hoping to at least pop it open and free Rufus. After a few seconds, a pleasant crack was heard. A wave of relief washed over her as the hatch finally opened.

"Quick Rufus! We've got to find cover before those planes open fire, or else our butts are toast!"

 _(One more butt joke, and I'm bumping this fic up to 'T.' - Ed.)_

Racing toward the other side of the roof, they both took cover behind a ventilation shaft and waited for the ground attack planes to open fire.

The commander smiled as he observed the two now safely protected. "This is Red Leader. Kim and Rufus are under cover. Open fire, attack pattern Delta."

The planes swooped in, guns blazing away in brilliant flashes of light, the hits dancing over the battle suit's body in a scintillating display of colors. But as powerful as the 30mm uranium shells were, the battle suit was still deflecting the rounds. It tried to return to return fire with its plasma cannon, but the planes were too fast, its shots going wide.

Kim sneaked a peek around the ventilation shaft to observe the climactic battle. "Still no effect. Nothing can penetrate that reactive armor!" She then had a brainstorm. "Wade, patch me through to the A-10 squadron leader, please and thank you?"

Wade's jaw dropped. "Kim, you're asking the impossible! Those frequencies are top secret and scrambled! It would take me _weeks_ to decode! And... _I've just broken through! Go ahead!_ "

"Commander, this is Kim Possible! Aim at the battle suit's feet! Repeat, aim at its feet!"

"Roger that, Kim." He toggled back to his squadron. "You heard her, men. Take out its feet."

The planes dove down once again, but instead of firing at ts well protected body, the shells began dancing about the battle suit's feet, and the roof immediately below it. The attack was so fierce that it shattered the roof supports, knocking the battle suit completely off balance. The grinding and whirring of overstressed servos revealed to Kim that it was barely able to stand as it teetered precariously on the roof's now seriously damaged edge.

Kim casually strolled over to the battle suit and prepared to perform her rarely used Kung Fu Move #16, a quick kick in the shins. With each furious lash of her foot she spat out, "I.. have had enough.. _of you!_ "

And with one last kick, the battle suit finally plunged off the roof toward the ground below.

Rufus peered over the edge and cheerfully waved at the swiftly falling robot. "Bye bye!"

Smashing into the ground at terminal velocity, the battle suit's plasma cannon snapped off along with one of its immense legs. It thrashed around for a few moments more in a futile attempt to right itself, but now internally disabled by the terrific shock of its fall, its indicator lights finally faded to black.

Wade cheerfully announced, "Congratulations, Commander. You and your men have destroyed the battle suit!"

Having ushered the costume party attendees to safety, Ron stepped out the front door of the hotel and intoned, "No, beauty killed the beast. And Kim totally kicked its mechanical butt!"

" _Oh, brother,_ " moaned a now very relieved naked mole rat.

 _(I warned you... - Ed.)_

Still dressed in her homemade brain costume, an extremely furious Dr. Ann Possible walked up to a sheepish James and growled, "Ron just told me all about your little toy. We're going to have a _long talk_ as soon as we get home, Mister."

Now back on ground level, Kim looked up at her father in relief. "Well, that just about wraps it up, Dad... Dad... Dad?"

James finally awoke from his dream. As he looked around the hospital room, he saw Kim, Ron and Rufus looking down on him in concern. "Dad? Are you finally awake? How are you feeling?"

James groaned, "Much better now, actually, with only a bit of a headache."

Ann smiled and ushered them all out of the room. "Thank goodness. He's out of the coma now, and is finally out of danger. Let's let him get some rest."

She walked over to him with a relieved smile. "You had us all quite worried, James. Next time, take Ron's advice and get any serious bumps on the head checked out right away, please and thank you?"

Suitably chastened, he mumbled, "Yes, dear. I promise."

As she left the room, he began to mull over his strange dream. "Wow, what a nightmare."

But soon he started pondering what he had learned during his fevered reverie, and how he could apply that to the nearly completed battle suit that awaited him in his top secret lab at the Middleton Space Center.

"Yes, I can avoid all those problems now with just a few simple modifications. Then it'll be ready for that field test I've been putting off for so long, just as soon as I get out of here..."

* * *

 _ **The End... ?** _

* * *

_Okay, so this turned out to be more of a **parody** of horror/sci-fi than anything else, so I guess I could add comedy to the description. Still, I hope you enjoyed it, and don't forget to read the other entries in __Stormchaser90's Heebie Jeebie Hullabaloo Halloween Story Contest. And as the saying goes, remember to vote early, and often! Cheers, MA  
_


End file.
